Picture a cold winter’s night, the kind where the wind whistles a forgotten lullaby through the cracks in your old window. You draw your coat tighter, grateful for its thickness. But then, imagine the first day of spring arriving—unexpected, blossoming. That same coat now feels like a burden. This is where you find me, shedding the layers of my former self, discovering warmth in unfamiliar air.
It’s a complex scene to navigate, this journey called change. Too often, we demand addition—stacked skills, brightened parts of our identity like a painting trying to outshine its canvas. But turning inward, we uncover the truth: the real mastery lies in the subtracting. The quiet, deliberate removal of what’s no longer needed.
The Shadow Walker
I used to be a shadow walker. Guided by a compass that pointed towards silence, safety, and seamlessness. This version of me was careful—a skilled architect in constructing the appearance of calm—even while beneath, waves threatened to stir. It was a survival masterpiece, crafted for seasons harsh with demands and low on light.
For years, this self kept the boat still; but safe harbors aren’t meant for long-term stays. When does safety begin to be just stagnation in disguise? I asked myself as I ventured into the work of ‘Mouthy.’ I found myself haunted by old echoes, whispers insisting I tone down the truth, hide behind the metaphors of my craft.
The Grief of Growth
There was no grand crescendo, no music swelling in a cinematic triumph when I began to let go. It was grief—a slow, echoing discord. Growth can sound like chaos; it feels like losing the only bones you’ve known. Loneliness creeps in as you navigate the desolate hallway of old habits—disarmed weapons that once served well.
If you’re there now, in the foggy in-between spaces, know that it’s not failure. It’s crossing over. You don’t need to vilify the past to embrace the future. The previous version of ourselves deserves gratitude for the journey, but it doesn’t need to accompany us the rest of the way.
This is the many channels of cable. Be mouthy and love yourself through the shedding.